Text: Ephesians 5:22-28

Introduction

I. The pillars of a healthy marriage are none other than the husband and wife themselves.

II. Both must work together in order to build a healthier marriage relationship.

III. This Valentine’s lets find out what can you do as husband and wife to become the strong pillars that supports your marriage.

1. The role of the wife: submission, (Ephesians 5:22-23)

I. This doesn’t mean,

A. passive submission.

B. that you should tolerate an abusive husband.

C. that the husband can force you to sin, (Read the illustration).

II. What Paul means by submit is,

A. To respect your husband.

B. Share his burdens.

C. Voluntarily follow his leadership.

III. How to submit?

A. Only to your husband – not unto every other man.

B. In love, as the church submits to Christ – not like a slave obeying his master.

C. In the Lord, (Ephesians 5:22-24) – (as long as the husband’s will doesn’t contradict biblical principals. Ex: Abigail disregarded her husband’s orders and delivered massive supplies to David and his men).

IV. Why is this important?

A. This is how God designed the marital relationship to function.

B. You hurt your marriage every time you violate the divine order.

C. Submission to your husband brings obedience to God.

V. How do I practice submission in my marriage?

A. First submit unto God which gives proper motivation.

B. When you submit do it out of a joyful heart.

C. Support him. Help him make better decisions.

2. The role of the husband: sacrificial love, (Ephesians 5:25-27)

I. What isn’t sacrificial love,

A. Sacrificial love is not just doing acts of kindness (Ex: washing dishes without watching the TV) so that I wouldn’t feel guilty.

B. Making things easier for the wife the hope of earning “brownie points.”

II. Then what is it?

A. Love her unconditionally even up to the point of giving your life for her.

B. Paul says, “…as Christ loved the church…” Is it because we are perfect that Jesus loves us?

C. Sacrificial love tolerates rejection, denial and lack of approval, (John 1:11).

D. A husband who loves his wife sacrificially continues to love her even when she doesn’t want to respond.

III. How do I practice this?

A. Love your wife as to yourself, (Ephesians 6:28a).

B. Be willing to forgive when she falls short of your expectations, (…as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her…).

C. If confrontation is necessary do it in love, (Ephesians 4:15). Not harshly, (Colossians 3:19).

D. Love her even if she doesn’t respond.

IV. Why is this important?

A. An unloving husband can’t expect his wife to submit to his leadership, (Read illustration)

B. The woman’s main needs are physical and emotional security.

C. The husband is her source of protection.

D. An unloving husband makes her feel insecure which in turn hurts the marriage relationship.

3. Conclusion

I. We are living in an era where marriage has come under the attack of many external forces.

II. Unofficial statistics claim that in US alone the divorce rate is as high as 4.95 per 1,000 people. In Sri Lanka where I live this is 0.15 per 1,000 people and growing.

III. Many marriages become victims of external forces because the relationship itself is weaker.

IV. When husband and wife works together in love and submission their marriage becomes healthier and stronger and external forces can’t effect penetrate such marriages.